I tend to over-think things. I’m hard on myself, and I’m the first one to put myself down. I hold on to things and have to watch my temper, sometimes my tears.
Sounds depressing, doesn’t it?
It can be, sometimes. I’ll text someone and not get the reply I was expecting. Or I won’t hear back from a certain friend and get bummed out about it. Maybe she doesn’t like me anymore. What did I do? Why isn’t she getting back to me? This is a vicious cycle that I get myself into more often than not.
I want to heal from this and be better at letting things go. I want to keep feeling, but I also want to gain confidence, take more control of my thoughts, and when I recognize that I need to move on, I want to be able to do so. To help achieve this, this is what I am practicing:
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering
- The Second Agreement from Don Miguel’s book The Four Agreements
My sister bought me the book The Four Agreements a couple of years ago. The more I read it, the more I can relate to it. The more I grow, the more I find it applicable to my life.
I love the Second Agreement for many reasons.
Nothing others do is because of you.
This is true. Everyone is their own person. They all react in their own ways to certain things, whether it be because of the environment they currently live in, how they were raised, genetically wired, what they are going through in their life…they are the way they are because of their own being and who they are as a person.
I also like to this to serve as a reminder to not be vain. Do you really think someone is thinking or caring that much about you, that it affects what they do? The answer is: probably not. No one else thinks about you and your problems, or that silly message you sent to the wrong person by accident, as much as you do.
When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
They say “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
You can’t think too much about what other people think. What they say can’t hurt you. All that matters is that you are happy with yourself. Remember, what they are thinking and saying have nothing to do with you, and by worrying or hurting from what others have said is needless suffering.
Don’t take anything personally.
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